Be an ambiance monitor

Anticipate her needs and offer a drink, a warm blanket or dim the lights, for example. She may be needing things that she is unable to verbalize in the middle of labor.

Be an active participant from the start

Attend her prenatal appointments as often as possible. Take an active role with her in deciding what you both want from the birth and how to get it. Know the birth plan even better than she does.

Don´t be a monitor-watcher

Many dads seem fascinated with the fetal monitors and other high-tech gadgets that sometimes accompany a birth. Don´t forget that it is your wife who is doing the work and really needs your support. It is generally NOT helpful to make comments such as "Watch out, here comes a big one!" Keep your focus where it belongs--on your wife.

Be firm

It is your job to support your wife and to advocate for her. Take this seriously. Don´t be intimidated by someone just because they are wearing a white coat. Ask repeatedly, if necessary, for explanations for proposed procedures and be sure that your wife´s voice and wishes are heard and respected.

You may also be in the position of having to be firm with your own family and that of your mate. Grandma-to-be may want to witness the birth, for example, but if your wife doesn´t want her there, it is your responsibility to keep her out. Period.

Offer emotional support

Never criticize your wife during labor. Resist the urge to play cheerleader ("C´mon, you can do it!") Instead, offer quiet reassurance that she´s doing a great job. Choose your words carefully, being positive and to the point. You can never say "I love you" too often.

Be her advocate

You must be her voice during labor. Relay her wishes to the medical staff and interpret what they are doing and saying for her. Often the doctors and nurses in their haste don´t explain all that is going on to Mom, who may not be able to ask herself.